Unexpected Gifts
Week 10 in the Time of Coronavirus
This weekend I went on a hike in the North Woods of Central Park. It was warm. And, yet, it was empty in the North Woods, unlike more popular areas. I was able to move freely up and down hills, trekking on dirt paths. It was heaven. This is the park I’ve loved all these years, a necessary sanctuary in the middle of Manhattan. I’ve missed being able to move freely since we became aware of Coronavirus cases in the city. As much as I love walking, traditionally finding it imperative for my well-being, moving on foot with a sense of danger lowers the level of pleasure I derive. So, spending the afternoon rambling pass birds, and dense greenery, was a gift that restored my spirit.
I have spent the last two and half months, like so many, navigating an emotional mine field. Angry outbreaks shocked me, as I thought I was fine until I lashed out. Mostly I’ve felt overwhelmed. To quell these feelings, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with courageous individuals who inspire me. I also meditate, talk through my issues, and find humor where I can. And I practice self-compassion, again and again, because I am behaving in ways that lend themselves to double down on patience and kind-heartedness. I am eating delicious foods, often with abandon. Sometimes I’m simply eating to medicate. I have a cocktail in the evenings, enjoying the fuzzy feeling it produces. Before Covid-19, cocktails were for parties and gatherings with friends. I am judgmental of myself. Our apartment tends to be chaotic, yet I don’t have the energy nor the inclination to clean it every day. I’m critical of Larry & Alex, even though they’ve been helpful in so many ways. I don’t compliment or thank them enough, but apparently, I can’t point out perceived deficits enough either. These are not qualities I’m happy to share, yet admitting my flaws can help to lessen their potency. It makes room for kindness and patience with myself, as well as with my family. I’m finding that ongoing compassion is essential to muddling through the pandemic.
That’s why the North Woods was so soothing. I was alone in a rare patch of New York City nature, joyful and rejuvenated. The experience along with a bike ride and a walk during the weekend gave me the impetus to be kinder to myself and my family. On my bike ride I passed the North Woods while a light wind gently glided past my masked face. I watched dog owners in fields keeping their social distance as their pets frolicked in the grass. These rare but essential experiences bring me back to a peaceful place of gratitude.
When I get home I am more accepting. I can laugh with Larry and Alex with ease. They are good company when I’m centered. Though being centered has been challenging these days. Nonetheless, I will take the gifts where I can. I am thankful that the city has kept the parks open. And on those days I can’t stay in the parks when they’re crowded, I will always admire a tree or the flowers. And, in the hours that I can roam freely in the park, even if I have to walk a couple of miles to reach a quiet corner, I will continue to take it in. Food for my soul.
Self-Care Tips
- Stop to Smell the Roses, Sometimes we pass beautiful nature too quickly. Especially in the city, when nature is spotty, stopping to admire the colors and, when applicable, the scent, we get a sliver of joy
- Ask for help. We don’t have to do this alone. Reaching out to friends, or those you trust, can be just the support you need
- Sing aloud. In the shower, in your bedroom or wherever, singing alters our energy
- Compassion, compassion, compassion. We need it for ourselves, and others need it too. When we are being hard on ourselves, pull out the compassion card and see if it can soothe.
- Find nature if your able. If you’re quarantined, do you have plants, a window that looks out on a tree? If you are social distancing, are you able to walk on the grass, walk on the beach, or go into the woods? If so, enjoy.
