Bickering, The Twenty-Seventh Week of the Second Year in the New Abnormal

My son told me last weekend that he hoped he won’t have disagreements in his relationships like I have with my husband when he’s older. It was interesting to hear, and as far as I understand he believes that with the amount of therapy, mindfulness practice, as well as the fact that I am a psychotherapist, I should be further along in my personal development, especially when it comes to my marriage. There was a time I would have agreed. I would have seen my defensiveness when my feelings are hurt, and that my feelings get hurt at all, as a fault in my character.

I am not proud that I bicker easily, or that I am quick to react, but I am no longer ashamed that both are true. Like Alex, I imagined that when I was in my sixties I would have life figured out. I believed I’d be highly advanced in my communications, and I’d be able to easily respond with patience and self-reflection. The truth is I am still learning. I have more acceptance of the bickering, appreciating that our marriage has the strength to encompass unpleasant moments. However, more time is needed to learn to have a sense of humor about myself, to find ease when I want recognition and…